Screaming Monkey Research Laboratories

I find it more than a little irritating that the Wolves big free agent moves have been to sign former #2 overall draft bust Darko Milicic and some plodding giant from the Greek league.

I wonder if that will get them to 20 wins.

The Vikes destroyed the Cowboys today.  Bought a celebratory cupcake.

The best part of New Years eve these days is the Red Bull guys doing something assinine. This year it was Travis Pastrana jumping 270 feet.

Edit: Try YouTube as ESPN appears to have pulled the video.

You know the magical Monkey’s Paw that grants you three wishes?  Typically cursed wishes?  I think the Vikes’ coach has one.

He clearly used a wish on mullet wearing defensive end Jared Allen.  Why else would KC let him go?  Unless it is that he is a great pass rusher when it doesn’t matter but isn’t when it does. If the Vikes are in a spot where they really need to get pressure on the QB they would be better off with Subway’s Jared.

I’m also pretty sure he used one on Favre.  Enough said on that.

I think the big wish was clearly the one that got him Adrian Peterson.  A great back.  Very Barry Sanders like in that he can break off a long run at any time.  (Unless you’re talking the last 6 games.)  He’s also like Sanders in that he has a few negative plays for every long run.  But unlike Barry he likes to leave the ball for the other team at the end of those long (short or negative) runs.  How useless is it to have a great back if you can’t guarantee a yard or that you’ll even retain possession at the end of it?

Unreal.

Prediction:  The Vikes lose to the Giants to end the season and play Dallas in the Wild Card Round.  (A game they would lose.)

So I traded Ricky Williams for Patrick Crayton and Lee Evans.

Seemed like a good idea.  Williams was my 4th running back and I’m desperate for receiver help.  In the process of doing all this I had to drop Indianapolis’ Defense to make the numbers work.  I kept Denver’s D just for one week because Indy was playing NE.  Figured that would be a bad week to have Indy.  The upshot of this is another team with a bad defense picked up Indy.

So how does this work for me.  My 3rd back (Portis) gets hurt and is out.  Michael Turner gets hurt and is out.  Ricky Williams runs for 100+ and 3 TDs.  I have to drop Crayton to pick up Bennie Wells and I decide I’d rather go with one of my other horrible receivers (Roy Williams) rather than Lee Evans due to all the Buffalo confusion this week.

That’s just great.  Crayton just caught a TD.

In the end I’m going to lose this week because of this.

Bah!

Brett Favre has always been the Minnesota Vikings QB.  The Vikings have always been at (football) war with Aaron Rodgers’ Green Bay Packers.

I really wanted Stephen Curry.

If they draft two more points they can become the first all point guard and power forward team.

edit:Okay, two more points. One they traded. One that has a contract in Greece. And a smallish shooting guard.

I have no idea what the plan is. I have to assume Rubio or Flynn is going to be traded. Other than that. Looks like they’ll field 8 power forwards and 5 point guards.

Dwight Howard is a bigger, better version of Ben Wallace.  Good luck with that, Orlando.

By record they should have had the 5th pick.  After the draft lottery they ended up with the 6th pick.

Once again the Clippers get the #1 overall pick.  Welcome to oblivion, Blake Griffin.

I have no understanding why a new Vikings stadium is not in an economic stimulus plan.  It is going to cost a bundle and will support a lot of jobs for a couple of years.  Pretty much all of it goes right back into the local economy.

And they need a stadium or Ziggy (or whoever he sells the Vikings to) will move the team to LA.  He might say that he won’t but he won’t keep losing money on a team with the worst stadium in the league.

Oh, and when they demolish the Metrodome they need to fill it with Jiffy Pop and light it up.